To begin with, we must have a working understand of what “domestic violence” really is. If you do a Google Search for “what is domestic violence”, the very first link is titled “Web Definitions for domestic violence”. Upon clicking that link, again, the very first definition is “violence or physical abuse directed toward your spouse or domestic partner; usually violence by men against women”. This definition clearly shows a “bias” against men insofar as the last segment “usually violence by men against women.

In California, for instance, Domestic Violence is defined by statute as “(a) Intentionally or recklessly to cause or attempt to cause bodily injury. (b) Sexual assault. (c) To place a person in reasonable apprehension of imminent serious bodily injury to that person or to another. (d) To engage in any behavior that has been or could be enjoined pursuant to Section 6320.

California Family Code § 6211 “Domestic violence” as abuse perpetrated against any of the following persons: (a) A spouse or former spouse. (b) A cohabitant or former cohabitant, as defined in Section 6209. (c) A person with whom the respondent is having or has had a dating or engagement relationship. (d) A person with whom the respondent has had a child, where the presumption applies that the male parent is the father of the child of the female parent under the Uniform Parentage Act (Part 3 (commencing with Section 7600) of Division 12). (e) A child of a party or a child who is the subject of an action under the Uniform Parentage Act, where the presumption applies that the male parent is the father of the child to be protected. (f) Any other person related by consanguinity or affinity within the second degree. This definition is clearly more gender neutral than the first definition.

Noticeable is that the California Legislature also defines domestic violence as violence against any children of either party

There is a large segment of academia that believes the number of men who are victims of domestic violence is far greater than the numbers being reported. These individuals postulate that there are a number of reasons for the under-reporting, not the least of which is the stigma associated with a man being “beaten” by their female counterparts.

• The incidence of domestic violence against men appears to be so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates.
• It has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence. Virtually nothing has been done to encourage men to report abuse.
• The idea that men could be victims of domestic abuse and violence is so unthinkable to most people that many men will not even attempt to report the situation.
• The counseling and psychological community have responded to domestic abuse and violence against women. Not enough has been done to stop abuse against women. There has been very little investment in resources to address the issues of domestic abuse and violence against men.
• In most cases, the actual physical damage inflicted by men is so much greater than the actual physical harm inflected by women. The impact of domestic violence is less apparent and less likely to come to the attention of others.
• Even when men do report domestic abuse and violence, most people are so astonished, men usually end up feeling like nobody would believe them. It is widely assumed than a man with a bruise or black eye was in a fight with another man or was injured on the job or while playing contact sports. Women generally don’t do those things. (http://www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/DomesticViolenceMen.htm)

In 1997, Professors Martin Feibert and Denise Gonzalez, both from California State University, Long Beach, conducted a comprehensive study regarding the percentage of women, as well as the reasons they have given, for perpetuating violence against their male counterparts. The numbers, frankly, were startling. Approximately 30% of the women surveyed admitted to physical aggression against their male partners. The reasons given, however, were remarkable, to say the least.

The 5 most common reasons given by women who were the aggressors were:

1. My partner wasn’t sensitive to my needs
2. I was trying to get his attention
3. He wasn’t listening to me
4. My partner was being verbally abusive
5. I didn’t think I would hurt him

While many people, for quiet some time, believed that women mainly “fought back”, the reasons given, in the order of frequency, clearly dispels this notion.

“Even the latest fact sheet from the Centers for Disease Control (partly from crime-based data) states: “In the United States every year, about 1.5 million women and more than 800,000 men are raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner” (i.e., 36% of the victims are men). Unfortunately, the DV industry has covered up female violence for decades for purely ideological reasons. (Kelly, Linda, “Disabusing the Definition of Domestic Abuse; How Women Batter Men and the Role of the Feminist State,” 30 Fl. St. U. Law R. 791, 2003,) [Tony Rutherford; Huntingtonnews.net Reporter; October 9, 2009 Article titled “Kanawha County Judge Rules West Virginia Domestic Violence Rules Discriminate Against Men” http://www.huntingtonnews.net/state/091009-rutherford-statetdomesticviolence.html]

There is recently a trend toward realizing that Domestic Violence is a societal ill that affects both men and women. As Marc Angelucci of the National Coalition for Men stated, as quoted in the Charleston Gazette, “We are not trying to belittle women who are abused, we’re trying to raise awareness” that men are also victims”.