Parents tend to swing from one extreme to the other in dealing with children: on the one hand, children are viewed as fragile, delicate beings, while on the other hand, parents seem to view children as rough, hearty and “unbreakable” individuals.

The truth is, they’re both.

The point of this missive, however, is to remind parents everywhere, that “they’re just kids”. By that I mean, do not overwhelm children with adult problems. Kids don’t need to know that “Mom cheated” or that “Dad spent too much money”.

Kids need to know that they are loved. Kids need to feel safe. Kids need to know that everything will be O.K.

In the case of divorce, kids don’t need to know who was “at fault”. They don’t need to know all the dirty laundry. They don’t need to hear all the fighting, arguing, demeaning, and crying. Kids do need to hear that no matter what happens, they’re going to be loved by both parents; that they are going to be safe in both homes; that they weren’t the reason for the failure of the marriage.

In other words, speak to the kids. Not at them. Give them age appropriate information. Don’t use the kids as therapists. Remember… They’re just kids.