Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and parents should all make the effort to include their children in Valentine’s Day plans.
Before you read on, I feel a disclaimer is necessary. I AM a hopeless romantic. I DO believe that you should shower your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend with affection. When in a relationship, I do exactly that. I do not, however, believe it should be “saved up” for February 14th each year. EVERY day you should treat your significant other as you would on Valentine’s Day. Now that we’ve dispensed with that, let me continue.
A brief history of Valentine’s Day may be enlightening.
“There are varying opinions as to the origin of Valentine’s Day. Some experts state that it originated from St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on February 14, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries. Legend also says that St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer’s daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it “From Your Valentine”. Other aspects of the story say that Saint Valentine served as a priest at the temple during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Claudius then had Valentine jailed for defying him. In 496 A.D. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honour St. Valentine.
Gradually, February 14 became the date for exchanging love messages and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. The date was marked by sending poems and simple gifts such as flowers. There was often a social gathering or a ball.
In the United States, Miss Esther Howland is given credit for sending the first valentine cards. Commercial valentines were introduced in the 1800′s and now the date is very commercialized. The town of Loveland, Colorado, does a large post office business around February 14. The spirit of good continues as valentines are sent out with sentimental verses and children exchange valentine cards at school.” (http://www.pictureframes.co.uk/Saint-Valentine.aspx)
The bottom line is, Valentine’s Day is what some people refer to as a “Hallmark Holiday” (and before I get flack, I mean no disrespect to Hallmark or anyone who works with, for or around Hallmark; I am simply repeating a quoted expression). No one REALLY knows how it started, but we know now what we’re supposed to do with it and we all immediately think of images of love when we hear “Valentine” or “Valentine’s Day”. It is, after all, the Holiday of Love!
The next part of this article is geared towards the do’s and don’ts.
Since Valentine’s Day is all about love, start there. DO show your kids love.
If you are a single parent Do’s and Don’ts DON’T lament your single-ness to your children. THEY can be your “date” for Valentine’s Day. DO take your child/children out to dinner; buy them a stuffed animal/card/candy. Whatever. Make it about them, not you.
If you are not a single parent: DON’T complain that your spouse/partner didn’t do enough or didn’t appreciate enough. Show your child/children grace. Show them that the level of effort is more important than the quantity of the gifts or the amount of money spent. DO make Valentine’s special for your children, as well as your partner/spouse. Show them as much attention and love as you would your partner or spouse, lest the kids feel like second class citizens (again, I am not saying that you should buy your kid a diamond necklace just because you bought your wife or husband one, but you should glean the point from my comments).
And, in closing, a HUGE issue that comes up all the time with children: If your child/children are having a Valentine’s function at school and cards will be exchanged, DO make sure they bring one for EVERY child, not just the ones they like. Just imagine how it would feel to be the parent of the kid who came home crying because they didn’t get ONE card.
